Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Olympic Drinking

Drinking Decathlon:

Hurling: Participants are judged on distance, consistency and odour in this projectile event.

Front Crawl: After losing the ability to walk, the athlete must crawl home without losing his keys or mobile.

Shot: Competitors must down the most measures without passing out, hallucinating, or vomiting.

100 Litres: Staying power and incredible bladder control are essential in this event.

Asymmetric Bars: Combines "propping up the bar" with a tricky reaching maneuver. Points are awarded on style and posture.

Rowing: With barely a nod to the Marquis of Queensbury rules, competitors must ensure that no one looks at their woman.

110m Hurdles: Often following the rowing event, the ability to out-run the law over any obstacles is tested here.

Weight Lifting: A test of both strength and friendship, participants must move their unconscious companion into a taxi.

Discuss: Competitors must talk on subjects about which they have no real knowledge. The winner is the last one to be able to form sentences.

3 Day Event: The purest of all endurance events, the action occurs between periods of unconsciousness.

(Re-published from an earlier post on Dryblog.)

Alcohol Olympics

Video of international rankings of drinkers by country (per capita).

Alcohol Olympics Video. (Re-published from an earlier post on Dryblog.)