Friday, February 19, 2010
Dumb but clean bar jokes:
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender says, "For you? No charge."
A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, "I’ll take a beer for me, and one for the road."
Q: What is a shark's favorite illegal substance?
More Dumb Clean Jokes That Are Funny
Click the graphics for lists and quizzes
on addiction, booze, coffee, and crack
A Revealing Story of Substance Abuse and Recovery
At the age of 19, Lynn moved from farm town Pennsylvania to New York City to pursue a career in theatre. She was exposed to new people, new challenges, and a completely new way of life; a way of life that included drugs. Lynn wasn't old enough to sit at a bar and order a drink, but she could sit in her apartment and order any narcotic of her choice. Lynn tried pot, acid, cocaine, ketamine, heroin, ecstasy, and she washed them all down with endless amounts of alcohol. Drugs not only made her willing to forget her dream, they made her forget who she was...
You Can Watch Lynn Marie Smith's Story on Her Website
Read Rolling Away Sample Chapters
Totally Unrelated Rolling Away Man
Hurling: Participants are judged on distance, consistency and odour in this projectile event.
Front Crawl: After losing the ability to walk, the athlete must crawl home without losing his keys or mobile.
Shot: Competitors must down the most measures without passing out, hallucinating, or vomiting.
100 Litres: Staying power and incredible bladder control are essential in this event.
Asymmetric Bars: Combines "propping up the bar" with a tricky reaching maneuver. Points are awarded on style and posture.
Rowing: With barely a nod to the Marquis of Queensbury rules, competitors must ensure that no one looks at their woman.
110m Hurdles: Often following the rowing event, the ability to out-run the law over any obstacles is tested here.
Weight Lifting: A test of both strength and friendship, participants must move their unconscious companion into a taxi.
Discuss: Competitors must talk on subjects about which they have no real knowledge. The winner is the last one to be able to form
3 Day Event: The purest of all endurance events, the action occurs between periods of unconsciousness.
(Re-posted from earlier Olympics post on dryblog)
Dancing With Demons
Halfway through the first episode of the new MTV reality show “Gone Too Far,” the star, Adam Goldstein, better known as DJ AM, is shown speaking to a heroin addict named Amy, a 23-year-old from Philadelphia he is trying to persuade to enter rehab.
“My dad died when I was 19 of AIDS and he was a full-blown drug addict,” says Mister Goldstein, 36, in a humble, matter-of-fact tone. “And I didn’t deal with it for a long time. I didn’t get sober until my 25th birthday, pretty much.”
Amy, whose last name is not revealed, breaks down. The first part of the show profiled her broken-hearted family and showed her injecting heroin into her hand. “I used to be a good person,” she says, sitting next to Mister Goldstein in her family’s home. “I just don’t think I’m meant to live like this, disappointing my family and disappointing myself and stealing and being a loser.”
“What’s crazy,” replies Mister Goldstein, “is you sound exactly like me.”
By the end of the hourlong show, which had its premiere October 12, Amy is shown having gone through rehab successfully with Mister Goldstein’s support, her hair nicely cut and a healthy glow in her face. It is a happy ending, much like the one Mister Goldstein seemed to be living when he filmed the seven-episode series last spring and summer.
But despite presenting himself as the model of a recovered addict with more than a decade of sobriety, Mister Goldstein, a celebrity disc jockey known for his talent spinning as well as the women he dated — like Nicole Richie and the actress Mandy Moore — did not have a happy ending.
On August 28, he was found face down on his bed in his Lafayette Street apartment in SoHo with a pharmacy’s worth of prescription drugs and a crack pipe nearby. The New York medical examiner concluded that he had died from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs and cocaine. The toxicology report said Mister Goldstein had ingested OxyContin, Hydrocodone or Vicodin, Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Benadryl and Levamisole. ... Read the Whole NY Times Article
Click for this MTV Episode of Gone Too Far
MTV's Help Webite for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction