"I got drunk for the first time when I was eleven. I was new at my synagogue, and some of the girls who took me in snatched some bottles of wine from the kitchen and we gorged on them beneath the flickering beauty lights in the women’s restroom.
"By thirteen I drank whenever possible. Wine at dinner, stealing gulps of vodka from the freezer, whiskey from the cupboard, beer from my friend's older brothers...
"Never had I given my love of alcohol the pleasure of being called an 'addiction.' It was something I liked to do, I could control it, I never threw up, and my actions were more or less intelligent...
"There were periods where it just wasn’t available, and I survived alright, wanted it, but I dealt. When it became routine again was when it got bad. Morning cap, night cap, water bottle in my purse. It was the cold of winter I was wanting to evade, not life, glug glug glug..."
Quotes from Bekka's 'Walking the Fine Line between Self-Control and Self-Abuse'